Seasons of Love and Grief

September is already on its way out and with any luck it will take with it the summer weather that has stuck around just a bit too long. We are officially into the fall and soon enough the weather will undoubtedly catch up. Without fail, the change of season from summer to fall is a trigger for me. It was the time when Joe's health started to decline and so the fall included the last times that he, Domani, and I ventured out as a family. This year, though, the summer, too, carried its own weight so as the calendar turned to September and I felt the usual stirrings, I also felt myself finally starting to process the months that had come before.

I have realized several helpful things.

One - Loss and grief are unpredictable and can never be packed up in a neat box. In many ways, I have born witness to the pain of loss and grief in the lives of my friends and family over the past several months. In my own home, I continue to engage with my son as he works to process his dad's death. The quote that keeps coming back to me is one of my favorites from Anne Lamott.

I am thankful for the ways that I have moved from mourning to joy in my own life even in the midst of additional losses and the distinct pain that comes with them. I am also glad that I have learned enough about myself and the ways I grieve that I can do it with patience and find the strength through my faith to be there for others who are experiencing a loss. 

Two - There are some people who are in our lives for just a season and that is perfectly fine. It's important to soak up all of the good from that time, learn lessons where applicable, and let go when the time is right. It was true for me in more than one way over the last few months and the letting go has opened itself up to more good than I could have thought possible in even this short time - new people, new experiences, personal growth, deeper relationships - in a word, it's been healthy. It makes me think back to the biggest example of this in my life so far - when I finally accepted the end of a toxic relationship only to open the door to reuniting with Joe. Expending energy on pieces of life that are better let go keeps that energy from all of those other healthier places. I'm relieved that I was able to leave behind the toxicity all of those years ago and to once again accept when the season called for change and the redirection of my energy now.

Three - Although a week plus at Disney World certainly tested the boundaries, I could not be more thankful for my family. All 10 of us took on Orlando for our family vacation this year and it was not lost on me how lucky I am to have a family I can enjoy myself with for that long in such a high stress environment.

While we were there, I watched my super-mom sister Karen navigate her 3 children all under the age of 7 around 8 days of Disney World, ensuring that they saw and did each thing they wanted to do. It was nothing short of miraculous and we have over 700 official Disney pictures to prove it. 

I watched my dad tear up as he witnessed his grandkids getting hugs from princesses and then laugh with joy while getting his own photo with Chewbacca. It was not too long ago that my dad couldn't even walk around the floor during his hospital stay let alone spend 6 days walking around Disney World. At that realization, I was the one with tears in my eyes. We had serious life conversations late into the night while lounging in the hot tub, played insanely competitive poker games wagering whatever random things were lying around the dining room, and covered more miles than I can count making memories that will last a lifetime.

A very happy Dad making friends with Chewbacca

I've always known that my family is something special. After all, not only can I survive a week at Disney World with them, but they inspire me, encourage me, hold me accountable, and love me unconditionally. But there has been something about these past few months that has made me realize on a deeper level just how fortunate I am to have such a close-knit, loving family in my life. They are a lifeline and God knows I need that right now more than I ever have before.

The whole family with Chewbacca

Heading out to the field to run the bases
 after our last game of the year!

Four - Baseball is still my oasis even when the Mets are awful. Whether it was Citifield, Citizens Bank Park, or PNC Park, taking in a Major League Baseball game this summer was one foolproof way to calm my nerves and reset anything else in my life that seemed off kilter. Now, the standings don't lie. This was a tough season to be a Mets fan. The injuries. The drama. The "trades". The losses after losses after losses. My Neil Walker shirt still teases me every time I flip through my closet. Domani's Lucas Duda growth chart stares at us from the wall each night when I put him to bed - a bed that has a Curtis Granderson fathead within reach in one direction and a Thor news article in the other. This season with its high expectations that came crashing down has felt like a million tiny papercuts that never stopped coming.

Waiting out a rain delay, finding some hope in a rainbow

Yet even on our worst days this season when it was nearly impossible to find a "fan" with a good word to say, I still had the privilege of enjoying baseball with my son. We did it for 20+ games between NYC and Philadelphia and because I never know when that privilege may be taken from us, I will never take it for granted. Domani is a smart and enthusiastic baseball fan. He studies statistics, watches replays, and now knows more about the Mets roster than I do. He cheers for his Mets in any and all circumstances. It is a pleasure going to games with him.

This season he decided that he wanted to choose an American League team to cheer for as well. To make his decision, he studied. He spent many weeks following statistics and standings, reading about players, and checking out replays from games. About two months ago, he chose the Twins. (There was, admittedly, quite a bit of lobbying from my co-worker Mr. Seth, although this only served to make Domani resistant initially.) I guess the good news now is that at least one of us has a team to cheer on into October. It also doesn't hurt my "Ya Gotta Believe" optimism that Mr. Seth's Twins finished last year with 103 losses, even worse than our Mets this year. Tonight, I watched them celebrate clinching a Wild Card spot. You never know what can happen in a year.

Showing off his Twins hat and batting stance

Five - When I think I can't, I still can. A running lesson re-learned. While I was training for the Philly Marathon in 2014 in hopes of qualifying for Boston I learned a lesson on a particularly tough 10 mile run that powered me through to qualifying then and still stays with me - "When I think I can't, I can." The problem is that recently I have been talking myself out of it in a hundred different circumstances. This past month I decided that no matter what I would not let that happen.

Earlier this year I had signed up for the Newport Jersey City Half Marathon because it was a package deal with the Newport 10k. I fully intended on doing some training for it, but I didn't. I have no good reason for not training. I just didn't. Even so, I am still in decent running shape and my doctor assured me the week before the race at my annual physical that all systems were go. So, I decided my mantra would be "when I think I can't, I can" and even though an Afghan Whigs show the night before got me into my Jersey City hotel at 3am I was at the start line and ready to go by the 8:30am gun time.

Mid-race selfie with the Statue of Liberty

It was my slowest half marathon ever. Slower than the first one I ran in Miami Beach for my birthday. Slower than the Disney World one when I stopped and took photos with characters. Slower than my slowest by over 5 minutes. But I felt so good about it. I hadn't run the distance in a year so completing the race at a steady pace left me feeling powerful again. I'm claiming it as a personal victory because that is exactly how it felt - a beautiful reminder that when I think I can't, I still can. I feel like it's a mantra I can start carrying again in my life and one that I can allow to seep in much deeper than just for running.

Six - Music is still my best medicine and concerts my ultimate church. All summer long I had been looking forward to the fall for one big reason - all of the concerts. Starting with The Afghan Whigs in September and ending with Voodoo Fest in New Orleans, I spent the summer listening to music and longing for my opportunity once again to hear it all live.

Brooklyn Steel. 9/16/17

The Afghan Whigs shows did not disappoint. Three shows, each of them unique. So many of my friends there with me. Music that stirred up all of the feelings. A meet and greet with special merch in Philly. The performance in its entirety of In Spades at The Bowery Ballroom. Front and center with some of my most favorite people for a rock your face off set at Brooklyn Steel. Remembering Dave Rosser with love alongside others who got it.

With Malinda. Philly. 9/12/17

Into The Floor. Philly. Viva La Rosser. 9/12/17

Live Afghan Whigs shows can keep me going for weeks except that this time my music high was interrupted by some shitty news. I couldn't even process it when I saw that Charles Bradley had died. I thought back to when I first saw him in September 2012 at ATP's I'll Be Your Mirror Festival in New York City. I stood near Greg Dulli watching him perform one of the most exciting sets I had ever heard. I remembered October 2014 when I saw him open for The Afghan Whigs at The Beacon Theatre. He was my favorite part of that show and by that point I knew the words to almost all of his songs I had listened to him so much. His music changed me that night and continues to change me as I listen to it today. It's almost as if I have little personal revelations whenever I listen to his songs. Before his cancer came back he had returned to touring and was scheduled to play at Voodoo Fest in October. His name on the lineup was one of the reasons I so wanted to be there. I'm going to miss the Screaming Eagle of Soul, but am so thankful that I can continue singing along with my decidedly worse voice to his soul-shaking music.

EPILOGUE - Over the past few days as I have been writing this post, Domani has taken an interest in having me read to him from this blog. It's a little overwhelming. It started out one night when he was feeling sad about missing his dad and wanted to hear some stories about him. Having already read him the many photo books we have multiple times, I got the idea to offer him something a little different. So, I pulled up a post from 5 years ago that had come up in my Facebook memories and I read it to him. We laughed and cried together. At several points I stopped and asked him if he wanted me to continue reading, which he did. We finished that first post and he wanted me to read more. The following night, he again wanted to hear one of the "poems" I wrote about his daddy. We read the post I wrote on the first anniversary of Joe's death. He especially loved the photos and the parts of the post that mentioned him. He told me when we were done that he wants me to keep reading to him about his daddy. Reading those posts to him was an incredibly bonding experience. I'm looking forward to more of it as he is ready.

Brooklyn, Boston, Baltimore - Maybe I Should Just Be a Roadie

I've been looking forward to the past 3 days ever since the tickets went on sale and in the ensuing chaos I ended up with the Holy Trinity of East Coast shows - Brooklyn, Boston & Baltimore. Those of us Afghan Whigs fans on the East Coast patiently watched as our friends out West gathered setlists and cool photos with the band and relayed every possible detail about the shows out there. We watched the Coachella livestream, read every article, and sifted through all the photos - knowing that soon enough our time would come. And come it did.

For me, it was 3 days of friends, feelings, and f*@king awesome. I brought my cousin Alyssa (currently a resident of Boston) to her first ever AW show. We got drenched waiting almost an hour for the doors to finally open there. I had more than one heartfelt conversation about the tough stuff of life with people who over the last two years have become really good friends. I devoured some delicious Jamaican food and threw back my share of beers. I drove a lot and for at least some of those hours on the road had some really good company in the car (Elissa & Andre!). I met new people. I had amazing late night red velvet chocolate chip pancakes. I danced my ass off and and lost most of my ability to hear. I finally got to hear these "Do To The Beast" songs live which I have been listening to non-stop in my car, on the running trails, and in my basement. I laughed a lot. I cried a little. And I realized just how important this band and the friends I've made through them have been to me in dealing with the loss of my husband.

With Alyssa waiting outside Paradise Rock Club in Boston 5/16/14

When the unmistakeable opening for Faded started in Brooklyn I steeled myself for what I was sure would be neverending waterworks. That was, after all, what happened during the 2012 tour anytime that song was played. I was a little taken aback when it didn't happen. Instead, I was simply filled with a sense of peace about how awesome it was to be there in that moment with so many of my friends and I was thankful for the gift Joe had given me of connecting me with them. I came to The Congo because Joe was on the listserv going back for as long as I can remember. After he died, I continued to keep up with the emails through his account and found the Facebook group that way. There are just no words to describe the awesome people I have found there and the fun we have had together starting with the Bowery Ballroom show in May 2012.

The reunion tour was an emotional one for me. Joe hadn't even been gone a year and it was my first time experiencing shows without him, but I've noticed a real change has taken place from then until now. For sure sometimes I still feel awfully lonely, but I have grown in to a peace that I'm never alone - I felt it during Faded in Brooklyn and many more times over the days that followed.

With Elissa & Melissa at Brooklyn Bowl, 5/15/14
I was too excited about seeing the Whigs to figure out what I was supposed to
be doing with my hand.

With Melissa & Amie at Brooklyn Bowl, 5/15/14

The band kept it interesting for those of us who attended all 3 shows and switched up the setlists pretty significantly between the three nights. Although Baltimore was definitely my favorite show out of the three (it is actually in a dead heat now for my favorite show ever), Brooklyn and Boston each had songs that were particularly memorable. Neglekted in Brooklyn was just plain hot and anytime I get to hear John the Baptist live I consider it a special treat. They pulled out Crime Scene, Into the Floor, and Miles Iz Ded in Boston - all of which were exciting for me to hear live again.

The biggest highlights though definitely came in Baltimore. Turn On the Water. Debonair. And of course the perfect trilogy from Black Love - Bulletproof, Summer's Kiss, & Faded. Greg did a intro to Faded from Sometimes It Snows in April that he did at the other 2 shows as well but for some reason here it was just out of this f*@king world. As was the whole show. 

With Melissa waiting in line at Ottobar in Baltimore 5/17/14

I Am Fire seemed like it would never end and I didn't want it to. Greg sang the opening verse directly in front of us and stared right at Sheila while he sang the "I could love you" line. (Thankfully, she didn't pass out from the excitement.) I have never had more fun singing along at a show than I did during F&F and Going to Town at the Baltimore show. I'm sure it wasn't true, but from where I was it felt like every single person in the crowd knew every single word and it was a high too intense for words.

The Ottobar was a perfect venue, reminding me of every great Jersey dive bar that is no longer and I was finally in the front row again for an AW show. It just felt right in every way. The band was having fun. Everyone in the crowd seemed to be giving it all they had and Greg only had to call out a rogue audience member once for taking a photo with flash. Greg made two beautiful dedications to Sam Holden and I had some of the photographs he has taken over the years floating through my mind during the show (one of my favorites). By the time the encore was over in Baltimore, I had no voice left, my ears were ringing, and I was sweating from head to toe. I was surrounded by kick ass Congo members and we were all firmly planted on Cloud 9.

Susan's setlist from the Ottobar in Baltimore, 5/17/14

Brooklyn, Boston, & Baltimore were days I will not soon forget.

While walking back to the car after the Brooklyn show two friends and I ran into Greg who was coming up the street in the other direction. It wasn't "my" moment since I've been lucky enough to meet him before and feel like I've said what I needed to say then, but something Greg said to my friend who was talking to him stuck with me.  The more I thought about it the more I realized it is the perfect summary to the past 3 days and really the past two and a half years. He said, "music is the thing that makes us feel not alone. It's what connects us all."

Three cheers for the savior of misbehavior who once again hits the nail on the head.

With Malinda & Melissa in the front row at Ottobar in Baltimore, 5/17/14

Joe has been gone for more than two years but somehow he is still there with me at the shows and in the music. I feel like I have a way that I carry him with me now that has allowed me to accept his death and also to accept that I have more living here to do. The place I feel that most clearly right now is at these shows. I think that's why I am now feeling joy and peace at these shows where before I would get hit with these waves of overwhelming sadness. He may not be standing next to me but that doesn't mean I'm alone. I feel like Joe left me The Congo for a reason. It's true that music connects us all and I'm so glad that Joe left proof of that and so many amazing people who do great things for each other. 

We never lose those we love when we find a way to weave them into who we are and the world we are building. They go on in that way and, at least in my corner of the universe, music is one of the most powerful ways we are all connected - past, present, and future.

A Year Ago

It feels like it was yesterday and ages ago at the same time. A year ago today marked the beginning of a fun musical journey - the first reunion show of The Afghan Whigs, an amazing night at The Bowery Ballroom in NYC. It's a night I will never forget because it meant so much to me, especially as I worked through the pain of losing my Joe. 

I remember so clearly the excitement I felt as I drove north from Atlantic City where I was for a work conference to meet up with some other fans before the show. We were like kids on Christmas morning and what a Christmas it turned out to be! By the time it was all over and I was driving back down the Parkway, I could hardly believe what had happened. I had really just seen The Afghan Whigs live at The Bowery Ballroom. I had met Greg and John and Rick. I had felt so close to my Joe. And there was more to come.

What an adventure followed that first concert in NYC...

In 2012, I attended a total of 10 Afghan Whigs shows from Toronto to New Orleans, from Cincinnati to NYC.

I brought my little sister, my cousin, and several friends to their first AW shows and went with an old friend to our first one together since we saw them in a now defunct NJ dive bar during college.

I made more new friends than I can count including two amazing women with whom I have already run a half marathon (love you, Malinda & Melissa!).

I met Greg Dulli for the first time. And a second time. And then on one especially meaningful night I finally felt it right to tell him just how important his music has been to me.

I stood in the very front row, in the back, and basically everywhere in between.

I heard them play their cover of Band of Gold live.

I cried more than once when they played Faded and sang as loud as I could along with countless other songs. 

I got my very own playlist to take home on a very special night.

I rang in the New Year in Cincinnati with my sister, my best friends, and my favorite band wondering how in the world we could possibly top such an amazing year. 

Perhaps, just perhaps, sometime soon all of the Facebook and Twitter and Instagram teasing that the band has been up to recently will lead to another "Your Attention, Please..." In the meantime, though, pardon me if I happily bask in some memories from last year. I'm thankful that it led me to Malinda and Melissa, that it brought me some peace in the midst of missing Joe (thanks, Elissa!), and that it gave me my first meeting with GD. It was a fabulous night with wonderful people, making it truly unforgettable.

The Afghan Whigs on May 23, 2012 at The Bowery Ballroom

A not so great photo of GD from the show.
I was too absorbed in the show, didn't take many photos.

On cloud nine, meeting Greg Dulli for the 1st time after the show.

The Homecoming - The Afghan Whigs at Bogart's

I have to admit that once it became clear the show at Bogart's was over on Thursday night, I was disappointed. As the house lights were turned up and the road crew started breaking down the set, I almost couldn't believe it. This was supposed to be an epic show. It was their HOMECOMING damn it. After 13 years, they were back at Bogart's. In Cincinnati. I kept replaying in my mind how I had imagined the show to be and it wasn't this. In reality, they had played the exact same set as they did in Carrboro, NC, although with a shorter encore. Maybe it was a combination of the truncated set and the letdown of knowing my flurry of AW concerts had come to an end, but I felt let down.

Let down after this? Really? How spoiled have I become?!

Thankfully, I was there with Erin who has this perfect way of cutting through crap to reality. They sounded great. The energy was great. It was a great show. So what if they played songs I had already heard live. So what if the set moved fast (quite possibly due to running up on a curfew). So what if there wasn't a lot of banter. So what if it was a shorter set. The band was tight and they were having fun at the hometown show. I was in the midst of enthusiastic fans who were singing and dancing right along with me. Erin jolted me back to reality and got me thinking about all the great parts of The Afghan Whigs in Cincinnati.

Waiting with Erin for the show to start.
So glad she was there (her 4th AW show! What a trooper!)

First was the deep connection to Joe that I experienced by being at that venue. It was so overpowering in fact that there were several times I just had to stop and "be" with him. When we arrived at the venue there was a long line outside even half an hour before the doors would open. As we walked along the sidewalk, I felt the tears pooling in my eyes and a lump growing slowly in my throat. Even though I knew how impossible it was, I fully expected to see Joe in that line just as I did 13 years ago on September 25, 1999. The feeling started to overwhelm me and just when I was sure I couldn't contain it, I heard a friendly voice say my name and saw a bunch of smiling faces. I love that I've been able to count on my Congo friends throughout this tour - whether it's a tissue or a stiff drink or a hug and a smile. The ladies who "saved" me at that moment won't even know what they did until they read this blog post. They are wonderful people and I'm thankful for them and our connection through the Whigs music. There were other moments once I was inside the club when I literally felt Joe there. I've become used to these moments over the past 10 months and I've learned to embrace them and roll with them and cherish them. They made the show at Bogart's very special.

It was also special to be there with Erin. She is a perfect concert companion and a strong support for me in my "Joe" moments. Over the past few years especially we've done a good job together just enjoying life and creating memory after memory. This was another one of those memory making moments and I'm thankful we experienced the show together.

And then there was the music itself. I have heard some complaints about sound at this show, but I have to say that from where we were the music sounded great. There were even some songs that I felt were the best live versions I had heard to date: Crime Scene, When We Two Parted, Into the Floor, Retarded, and Fountain & Fairfax were all excellent performances at this show. Greg was hitting all the vocals with gusto and it felt like the rest of the band had a special Cincinnati energy too. There was an emotional edge to this show for me (although nothing will come close to what I experienced at the Terminal 5 show) and I think that edge enabled me to really enjoy the music.

The crowd singing "Fountain & Fairfax" is always great,
but here it was awesome.

And then there was the encore and Greg Dulli's white shirt. Seriously, people, Greg Dulli had a costume change and ditched his traditional all black get up for a white shirt. Maybe you feel this petty, but I wasn't the only one who took note of it. Trust me that the Twitterverse and the world of Facebook were equally interested in the Savior of Misbehavior's changed look. It made for a fun (although short) encore and left me itching for that moment 66 days from now when I will ring in the New Year with Mr. Greg Dulli and The Afghan Whigs (& Scrawl!). Thankfully, rumor has it that we won't be stopped by a curfew that night!

Proof of the white shirt.

For the setlist from this show, check out the list from NC up until the encore and then add Miles Iz Ded and Into the Floor.

The Afghan Whigs - NOLA, Carrboro, & Memories of 1999

This past weekend found me for the first time ever in New Orleans, LA and Carrboro, NC. It will come as no surprise to anyone who has been reading my blog posts that I was there primarily for a healthy dose of The Afghan Whigs.

There's just no way I could communicate all of the amazing that was packed into those 4 days of travel - and it wasn't all about the shows. In NOLA, we had a blast rocking and bowling at Rock N Bowl, kicked back with a beer at Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop on Bourbon Street, and grabbed a cafe au lait and beignets at Cafe Du Monde. We cried at the Louisiana State Museum as we watched and listened to the stories of Hurricane Katrina and we treated ourselves to some delicious food at Lilette and Restaurant August. Oh, and I also had my longest run ever - a relaxing 8.6 mile jaunt through the Garden District and Uptown areas. In Carrboro, I shared dinner with two great friends who I don't see often enough - Aubrey, a friend from high school and Christon, a friend from college - and I finally got to meet Christon's adorable dog Churchill. (He's even sweeter in person than he is on Instagram.)

The Congregation pose for a photo outside Tipitina's before the show.

And then there were the shows. Oh, the shows. On Friday night, we were treated to a kick ass time at Tipitina's Uptown, a cool venue with a lot of great history. Unlike the too-cool-for-school hipsters who were mixed in the crowd at MHOW in NY, this entire crowd came to party and weren't afraid to show it (only a few instances of crazy scary fans!). It was invigorating. The extra special treat for the night was that the band wasn't just the band - they were joined by Steve Myers and Susan Marshall. And it was phenomenal. The highlights for me were John The Baptist (which I had never heard performed live) and Neglekted (which was one of the hottest live performances I have ever seen). Greg, Susan, and Steve were electric every time they shared the stage, but when Greg and Susan moved from 66 (the first song of the encore) into Neglekted, I could hardly contain myself. They moved together like magic and their voices melted into each other as if they were one. I was lucky enough to snap my favorite photo of the night during this song. I literally caught the "she blew a kiss..." moment and every time I look at the photo it makes me smile at the memory.

"She blew a kiss..." Susan Marshall and Greg Dulli on Neglekted

The NOLA show was exactly what I hoped it would be - nonstop energy in one of the most exciting cities in the country. Even having beer repeatedly spilled on my head and back couldn't dampen my spirits at a NOLA Afghan Whigs show. Next to me during the show were a husband and his wife who had traveled from Texas (NOT the ones spilling the beer!). He had seen The Afghan Whigs in Austin and Dallas and several times before the band broke up, but this was his wife's first time seeing them live. He was a nice guy and they both seemed to really enjoy the night. I'm glad they were the ones standing next to me as it was a gentle reminder of my Joe and our love. More than once during the show I glanced over at them and couldn't help but think about Joe and what it would have been like to be there with him. He would have LOVED that show and I'm convinced that if things had happened differently it would have been the two of us enjoying that NOLA show together - although with Joe we most certainly would have been standing in the balcony instead of on the floor.

More from Tipitina's - Greg with Rick McCollum, Dave Rosser, & Susan Marshall

After the show Friday night, my friend Erin and I were exhausted. Knowing that we had lots of plans for our last day in NOLA we decided to skip any post show drinking festivities in exchange for some heavenly sleep in our sweet apartment. On our last day together in NOLA we had a knockout breakfast at Surrey's (a recommendation from the owner of our rental), rode the ferry across the Mississippi River, walked down Bourbon Street, visited the Louisiana State Museum, hung out at Cafe Du Monde, went shopping on Magazine Street, and had a delicious dinner at Lilette. It was a full day and went by much too fast. We both plan another trip back to NOLA, this time for at least a full week. With any luck, the same apartment will be available next time we go...

Looking in to the main bedroom from the living room.

The back bedroom & bathroom where I stayed.
It was an old speakeasy (entrance off to the right).

Early Sunday morning, it was off to the airport for me to begin the MSY-IAH-RDU trek. After a short delay in IAH, I finally arrived in RDU and happily got a big hug from my college friend Christon. We got to spend a relaxing Sunday afternoon together watching football, catching up, and hanging out with her dog, Churchill. Then, it was off to dinner with my friend Aubrey at The Spotted Dog in Carrboro before the quick ride up the road to the Cat's Cradle.

Waiting in the line with Christon at The Cat's Cradle.

While we waited on line to get inside, we reminisced about the last Afghan Whigs show we attended together. It was at the Birch Hill Nite Club in Old Bridge, NJ during our junior year in college. We were not even 21 yet. Joe was with us. I kept busy taking pictures which I would later develop myself in my college photography class. I distinctly remember Greg Dulli smoking a lot, having the most fun I had ever had at a concert, and that, in general, the Birch Hill was a dump. The Nite Club is long gone (it's condos now), but the memories of that night are still very strong. It didn't hurt that almost immediately after coming home from my recent trip I came across a scrapbook I had created during college which contained 4 "Afghan Whigs" pages:

I absolutely love this page.
Photos are mine from the Birch Hill Nite Club (Old Bridge, NJ).
Ticket stubs from Bogart's (9/25/99) & Birch Hill (2/23/99)

A Q&A with Greg Dulli I had clipped and put in my scrapbook.
My favorite part:
What are 3 things every man should know about women?
They're always right;
you need them more than they need you;
and when you hang up on one, you'd better mean it.

Pretty sure this is the setlist from Birch Hill 2/23/99
Including a photo I took at the show.

My favorite photo from Birch Hill (2/23/99) - Rick McCollum on guitar.

But enough reminiscing. Back to the Carrboro show.

Here, the opening band is worth mentioning because Wussy had a genuinely fun set. I enjoyed them in NOLA, but even more so in NC. There was an older man standing near me while they played who was clearly there for them which made me enjoy it even more than I would have otherwise. His enthusiasm was contagious and the band sounded especially tight. When their set was done and the setlist was passed my way, I kept passing it right on and gave it to the Wussy fan guy. He took it happily and made his way back out of the crowd. At the end of the night when we left, Lisa Walker was out front loading their van and I made sure to let her know how much I enjoyed their set. I definitely plan on adding at least a few of their songs to my iPhone shuffle.

Wussy bassist Mark Messerly. Love the shirt.

Wussy vocalist/guitarist Lisa Walker.
Lots of talent + a cool look.

Wussy is joined by John Curley for Yellow Cotton Dress.

And just like that it was time for Christon and I to enjoy our first live Afghan Whigs show together in 13 years. The crowd energy was great and in true Afghan Whigs fashion, when the crowd is ready to party, so is the band. Highlights for me included the Best of My Love lead in to 66 and Heaven on Their Minds (from Jesus Christ Superstar) which was the first song of the encore. Christon's favorite AW album is 1965 so we sang extra loud and danced extra hard during those songs. During an especially high energy version of Gentleman, Greg met Christon with one his famous "points" and as he returned from the crowd on See & Don't See we cleared the path and he walked right between us to get back up on the stage. It was all very cool. The final two songs of the encore were Omerta/Vampire Lanois, which I had first heard performed on this tour at MHOW. This performance was just as magical with the yeah, yeah, yeahs of She Loves You literally sending a chill down my spine. I even managed to catch a photo of John & Greg to go along with the one of Rick & Dave I took at MHOW.

At the end of the show, the setlists were going fast and furious so I was convinced we weren't going to get one this time around. I had started looking for someone with a list so I could snap a photo when more lists were brought out from backstage. I was lucky enough to be passed one of the lists so after allowing some nearby fans to snap photos, I gave it (a little misty-eyed) to Christon. With that list we had come full circle in our Afghan Whigs journey - I with my old setlist from NJ and she with the new one from NC. Just perfect.

Christon showing off her setlist from Cat's Cradle (10/21/12)

It seemed like the band was having a blast all night.
My favorite was Dave singing the "Steve" parts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...with Greg and John.

Finally caught a good one of Rick Nelson.

And, now it's time to catch some ZZZZZs since tomorrow (today!) is another show, this time at Bogart's in Cincinnati. When I arrive there, I expect it will bring back a flurry of emotions since it was there I ran into my then ex-boyfriend, eventually-to-be-husband Joe just a little over 13 years ago. In anticipation of Thursday night's show I went searching for the setlist from that night (9/25/99) and came across this blog post which lays it out. If this next show follows in the same light, we are in for quite a night in Cincinnati!

Bogart's 1999 Setlist:

01 The Boys Are Back In Town

02 Superstition - Going To Town - In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida

03 Uptown Again

04 Come See About Me

05 Be Sweet06 Neglekted - Do You Feel Like We Do - Nasty

07 King Only

08 If I Were Going

09 Debonair

10 Bad Girls - Title Unknown - 66 - Little Red Corvette

11 I'll Be Around

12 Somethin' Hot

13 Crazy

14 Bulletproof - Baby Love

15 People Get Ready - Faded

16 Who Do You Love - Hot For Teacher

17 Fountain And Fairfax - All You Need Is Love

18 Omerta - The Vampire Lanois - She Loves You

19 Into The Groove - Rebirth Of The Cool - Express Yourself