I could come up with a pretty long list of things that make me sad these days. Today, I decided to come up with my own very personal list of things that make me happy. It's way longer than I thought it would be. And that makes me very happy.
-Listening to The Afghan Whigs
-Reading about The Afghan Whigs
-FaceTime with my sister in Idaho
-Making travel plans
-Phone calls with friends
-Re-discovering an old friendship
-Yoga
-Praise Band
-My friends who are pregnant or new mommies
-Dinner plans with friends
-Reading Anne Lamott
-Watching my son play with his cousins
-Blogging
-Best friends
-The prospect of something new and/or exciting (tattoo, motorcycle ride, travel abroad)
-My son's out of control laughter
-My son's out of control appetite
-Having some time alone
-Workers standing up to the boss
-Mets tickets
-The NY Giants Superbowl Champion DVD
-A quiet movie night at home
-Anything from Mendoker's in Jamesburg
-The attention (and occasional free cookie) my son gets when he comes with me to Mendoker's
-Sunshine
-Family members who show up
-Friends who show up
-Co-workers who show up
-The therapy I found in the movie 50/50
-Spiritual direction
-Two of the best cleaning people anywhere
-Old cards and notes from Joe
-Flowers popping up in my side garden
-A slightly too strong mixed drink at the end of a long day
-Salsa and chips from Mexican Village
-Catching up with high school friends
-Joe's slippers
-Bejeweled Blitz
-Words with Friends
-A good meal at Makeda
-The songs from Joe's thumb drive on a random mix
-Scrapbooking
-A good sermon shared on Twitter
-Emails, FB messages, blog comments, RTs, replies, comments, wall posts, likes, phone calls, texts and snail mail
-Greg Dulli on Instagram
-A cup of hot tea
-Hugs and kisses and pats on the shoulder from my son
-A massage from Nancy
-Caring neighbors
-A hot shower
-Meaningful work
-A gift certificate for a pedicure
-Running
-Cuddling in the morning with my son
-Child care helpers
-Sesame Street with Ricky Gervais
-Line dancing
-ATP IBYM Festival in September in Asbury Park curated by Greg Dulli featuring a reunion performance by The Afghan Whigs
What's on your "happy" list?
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Til Death (or money) Do Us Part...
Last night as I was getting ready for bed I had on a TV show called Four Weddings. If you don't know the premise, it's basically four brides who attend each other's weddings and then rate which ones they liked the best. There are safeguards in the grading system so that a bride can't undercut everyone else's wedding in hopes that she will win. In the end the bride with the most points wins a pretty impressive honeymoon for her and her new husband.
Last night's show was not a typical Four Weddings show; it was a Four Weddings special. It was a review of many episodes in the form of "blunders" - what not to do (and specifically what cost brides points in the evaluation process). One segment in particular caught my eye. It was called "for richer or richer" and it was literally a string of brides who refused to say the "for poorer" part of the traditional wedding vows. I was floored. Some women just said "for richer" and then after a pregnant pause moved on. Others said "for richer or for richer", slyly replacing the dreaded "for poorer" part with what she thought would be the circumstances for her continued commitment. Now I have to assume that these brides thought they were being funny, but it got me to thinking.
My brain was going into hyperspeed thinking about how this "for richer or for richer" sentiment is really a symptom of a bigger problem in our think of yourself first, do what makes you happy, immediate gratification culture. It made me very uncomfortable. And it wasn't just because I thought these women were horrible, but because in different ways I saw that same sentiment in myself both currently and at various points in my life.
Then, this morning I saw the counterpoint. My mother-in-law gave an eloquent eulogy for her Uncle Pat at his memorial service. Part of the eulogy was talking about his courtship and marriage to his wife of nearly 47 years. During the eulogy, Mom talked about the vows they took and the part that struck me hardest (probably for obvious reasons) was the "til death do us part" part. Tears were streaming down my face as I stood in the back of the Church holding my son while she spoke. She talked about how it's hard to do that and (maybe I'm embellishing a bit here), but how you have to work at having a marriage like that.
It got me to thinking about my first marriage to an emotionally and verbally abusive husband, a marriage that while it didn't end well, has left me nothing but happy at a second chance. I then, of course, think of my marriage to Joe - one in which no matter how difficult things got - we were in it together. A marriage in which I had someone to challenge me to be a better person and to dig deeper in everything I did. A marriage in which I found everything I had been looking for - literally everything. I knew that ours was a "til death do us part" kind of relationship, but I never thought that time would come as soon as it did.
The traditional wedding vows that couples take are very difficult. They run counter, I believe, to our nature as human beings. Sickness, poverty, death. These are devastating, hard things. But, that is why these vows are so wonderful. It's because they bring us to something bigger and deeper than ourselves. Perhaps the amazing part is that I believe I can have those same counter-cultural, earth-shattering relationships as a single person. I find that the Jesus I have come to know is that way and that we are called to do the same while we are here. I think we could turn the world upside down by committing to love people (all people) for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.
Last night's show was not a typical Four Weddings show; it was a Four Weddings special. It was a review of many episodes in the form of "blunders" - what not to do (and specifically what cost brides points in the evaluation process). One segment in particular caught my eye. It was called "for richer or richer" and it was literally a string of brides who refused to say the "for poorer" part of the traditional wedding vows. I was floored. Some women just said "for richer" and then after a pregnant pause moved on. Others said "for richer or for richer", slyly replacing the dreaded "for poorer" part with what she thought would be the circumstances for her continued commitment. Now I have to assume that these brides thought they were being funny, but it got me to thinking.
My brain was going into hyperspeed thinking about how this "for richer or for richer" sentiment is really a symptom of a bigger problem in our think of yourself first, do what makes you happy, immediate gratification culture. It made me very uncomfortable. And it wasn't just because I thought these women were horrible, but because in different ways I saw that same sentiment in myself both currently and at various points in my life.
Then, this morning I saw the counterpoint. My mother-in-law gave an eloquent eulogy for her Uncle Pat at his memorial service. Part of the eulogy was talking about his courtship and marriage to his wife of nearly 47 years. During the eulogy, Mom talked about the vows they took and the part that struck me hardest (probably for obvious reasons) was the "til death do us part" part. Tears were streaming down my face as I stood in the back of the Church holding my son while she spoke. She talked about how it's hard to do that and (maybe I'm embellishing a bit here), but how you have to work at having a marriage like that.
It got me to thinking about my first marriage to an emotionally and verbally abusive husband, a marriage that while it didn't end well, has left me nothing but happy at a second chance. I then, of course, think of my marriage to Joe - one in which no matter how difficult things got - we were in it together. A marriage in which I had someone to challenge me to be a better person and to dig deeper in everything I did. A marriage in which I found everything I had been looking for - literally everything. I knew that ours was a "til death do us part" kind of relationship, but I never thought that time would come as soon as it did.
The traditional wedding vows that couples take are very difficult. They run counter, I believe, to our nature as human beings. Sickness, poverty, death. These are devastating, hard things. But, that is why these vows are so wonderful. It's because they bring us to something bigger and deeper than ourselves. Perhaps the amazing part is that I believe I can have those same counter-cultural, earth-shattering relationships as a single person. I find that the Jesus I have come to know is that way and that we are called to do the same while we are here. I think we could turn the world upside down by committing to love people (all people) for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.
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